An Honest Letter From A Guy With Cystic Fibrosis

Quick Warning: This post contains some medical (gross) content and description.

ee-cf-awareness-month-fb-cover-photo

May is cystic fibrosis awareness month.  I’ve been working on a screenplay for the past few months featuring a character with CF.  To help with character development, I made a post asking anybody with the disease to unload on me and tell me everything they hate about it.  One man’s response was incredible.  It helped me not only creatively, but touched me on a very deep personal level.

 

This is what he said:

First off I’ll tell you a little about myself. Growing up CF for me was pretty easily managed, although it was always in the back of my mind. What seems silly now I actually thought about a lot as a child, such as I could of ran that mile faster, did a better job during that one soccer game, or something else of a competitive nature– if only I didn’t have CF. Occasionally that was my thought process anyways, although I also knew how lucky I was to be able to do all the normal activities children do as I occasionally heard stories about CF kids in my parents’ support group not making it to their teenage years.

The facts were in reality I was pretty athletic then, and although I wasn’t the fastest or best at something I wasn’t the worst on a team of athletes either. My lung function was near 100% so I could pretty much do whatever I wanted. Doing treatments kind of sucked, and yes a whole treatment regimen could take up to 2-3 hrs a day as some of the inhaled antibiotics back then took 30+ minutes to finish, then of course the oral medications and airway clearance (airway clearance I could substitute for exercise, but if I didn’t get a chance to exercise because of sports off-season or whatever I had to do it).

Now as an Adult I have a different set of challenges. My lung function dropped rapidly almost as soon as I turned 18. I was going through my rebellious phase, was pretty sick of doing treatments, and aged out of the youth athletic leagues. I also had a few tragedies in my family that put the spotlight off me as my parents had to focus on those issues. It didn’t take long for it to catch up with me though, I went in for my 2nd hospital stay for CF close to my 19th birthday. That is when I found out my lung function took a major dive, thankfully not as bad as my doctors thought at first — before they got the results they were talking about transplant but more leaning towards hospice. Thankfully it was mostly mucus plugs that blocked the airways that I was able to expel during my hospital stay, although I did receive some scarring from that incident as well that can’t be repaired.

Since then I took my health more seriously. I recognized that I needed to do a better job to preserve my lung function because once it scars you can’t get it back. During my 20s I had to do a lot of adjusting. I was no longer the athletic kid which was a bit frustrating so I had to turn elsewhere for entertainment and to occupy my time. I enrolled in college and graduated a few years later, then eventually found a job as a counselor. During that time my lung function went through the usual CF decline, a few percent every year. It was then I realized that nothing is going to “save” me from this, as the current treatments only slow the progress of the disease, they don’t cure it. That got me determined to participate in research, and I was able to enroll in a clinical trial for almost 3 years. Unfortunately, last year I developed a new bacteria which forced me out of the trial.

I am still working and doing what I can to stay healthy but that experience has brought me down a bit. I see and hear a lot of stories in my field of work so I can definitely put things in perspective when I need to (Everybody has their own issues). Other times, it is hard.

 

My reply:

Thanks for the response!
I have a few questions. You don’t have to answer them if you’re worried they’ll upset you. The script (about to begin a new revision) is highly upsetting in of itself. It’s very brutal and deals with dark themes like death and how much control we actually have over our lives. I would advise you not to read further if you yourself don’t want to start probing these dark subjects.

1)Do you mind if I ask how old you are? I’m assuming out of your 20s.
2)Does it bother you to be called a “CF patient”?
3)Do you think you’re sick?
4)How much money from fundraising do you think actually makes it to research?
5)Do you think they’ll cure it?
6)”I am still working and doing what I can to stay healthy but that experience has brought me down a bit. I see and hear a lot of stories in my field of work so I can definitely put things in perspective when I need to (Everybody has their own issues). Other times, it is hard.” <– Why is it hard, and what is hard about it?

 

Less than an hour later, this is how he responded:

1.) I am 28

2.) Yes. I know it shouldn’t, but it does. But at the same time, the longer i live, the less I can escape from that term and the disease I have because it gets to the point where it just can’t be ignored. It has had a profound impact on my social structures both as a child and as an adult.

3.) Yes and No. Over your course to discover what it really means to have CF I’m sure you will find a whole bunch of people, each with their own struggles and what it means for them. When I first got really sick (in reference to my early-adulthood days) I made the subconscious decision that I prefer quality of life over quantity. What I mean by that is at the moment (obviously minds change as new situations arise) I would not want to be kept alive by artificial means. Because of my excellent childhood health I have never had a feeding tube, Port (http://www.uwmedicine.org/health-library/Pages/chest-port.aspx), or major surgeries (besides my surgery to remove nasal polyps around 5 yrs old) and as an adult I would like to continue to keep it that way for as long as I can. Again, it goes back to quality over quantity. I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to live in pain or with more than I could handle either. Of course I reserve the right to change my mind later, but for now this is how I feel.
I’d also strongly recommend you check out Travis Flores facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/official.travisflores) for a deeper understanding of what it means to have “End Stage CF” and go through the transplant process. He does not know me but I am somewhat inspired by his story, although I’m not sure I could do what he is doing. Those kind of struggles still seem so “unreal” to me and honestly I don’t know how I would cope.

3 continued&5.) I know I am getting sicker. As I mentioned before a big reason why I entered the clinical trial was because I realized that the traditional means of just delaying the process didn’t seem good enough for me. I was hoping for a cure, or a positive shift in quality of life. Unfortunately, the drug was a disappointment for me. I still hold out hope of it being cured, but I know the odds are stacked against me. If there was a cure I would hope to be in one of the first trials, because I know the long process it takes for FDA approval and I know even the healthiest CF individuals can take a turn for the worse at any time. My participation and experience in the clinical trials were not shared, not because of any legal reason, but because I do not want to extinguish the hope of those who are more optimistic than I.

4.) Fundraising hmm.. I would like to believe that the people in charge of that are doing all they can to help cure this disease. To me this goes hand in hand with faith in humanity. I prefer to believe that researchers are spending the money as efficiently as possible and looking out for our best interests.

6.) Being in the field that I’m in I’ve had experiences with the death of clients before. I know that life is fragile, here one minute gone the next. I’ve also had frequent contact with the surviving parties. Then in the hospital I hear about people dying from “my” disease from the Respiratory Therapists. I am a strong believer in that you cannot really truly understand something unless you go through it yourself.

At the same time I look at my life of my co-workers, both former and current. I see them talk about families, post about their blessings. I see the former progress to greater and greater heights, something I feel I cannot do. Sometimes I get envious.

It is a very mixed bag of emotions.

I hope this has helped. As always if you have any more questions feel free to respond. In a weird way I think this is helping me as well.

 

 

I am not meaning to plug my story or anything, but I don’t want to lie about my “association” with the disease.  It’s this kind of honesty that is truly going to raise awareness, not posters saying “fight for a cure” and other platitudes.  It’s easy to understand the gravity of the lack of awareness in the media when you see that Teacher Appreciation Week is trending on Twitter and is the Google Doodle, yet CF Awareness Month is absent from any form of mainstream communication outside of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation page as well as similar organizations.

The only thing I knew about the disease before I started my story was that it had something to do with the lungs and that it kills you.  Now I know that it’s a far more complex disease than that, and now I have a bit of understanding as to what these people have to deal with.  You should know, too.  Some of what this guy said in his e-mails was more of a help to me on a personal level than anything has been in a long time, and I’m very glad he contacted me. He helped me and now I want to pay it forward and help him and others like him who are living with Cystic Fibrosis. I’m willing to bet that whoever is reading this had no idea it was CF month.

My heart goes out to anybody living with the disease as well as their friends and family. Let’s hope they find a cure.

(All syntax, grammar, punctuation and word choice are purely belonging to the guy who wrote the e-mails. Lol. The only editing I did to his e-mails was to backspace out some personal information.)

Things I hate… But Everyone Else Seems to Love

Here’s a list of things that I hate, but everyone else seems to love:

Jennifer Lawrence — I hate Jennifer Lawrence!  Honestly, I do have some pretty close ties to her… and she’s a terrible person.  Very mean.  Socially inappropriate… a bitch.  On top of that, her acting isn’t even that great… because she never acts.  She just plays herself in every role.  This is especially true for her role as “Tiffany” in “Silver Linings Playbook”… for which she won an Oscar.  Truly, though, even if she had been acting in that role, the statue still should’ve gone to Jessica Chastain for “Zero Dark Thirty”.  To see the true depth of Jennifer Lawrence’s histrionic shortcomings, watch “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” and then watch “Silver Linings Playbook”.  “Martha” and “Tiffany” are basically the same character.  I’m so glad Brie Larson kicked her butt this year at the Oscars.

The Beatles — I hate The Beatles!  People always ask me why, and the simple response is… “I don’t like the way their music sounds”… because I don’t.  It’s too clean.  I do like Bob Dylan, though.

“Boyhood” — Okay, I won’t say that I hate the 2014 film “Boyhood”… but I certainly don’t like it.  There was no story.  I sat in an Indie theatre for over two and a half hours watching somebody I’ve never met perform menial daily tasks… and that’s supposed to move me?  I could wash dishes, fix pipes, smoke weed or snap pictures at home… and without having to pay for an overpriced movie ticket.  That was a portrait of an ordinary boy’s uneventful life… and that’s the problem.  I’ve spent 23 years in my own unexciting suburban existence.  Why would I want to spend 165 minutes immersed in someone else’s boring, unextraordinary life?  The answer is… I don’t.  Patricia Arquette’s acting and the great soundtrack were really the only outstanding aspects of “Mason’s” overrated and dull boyhood.

Meatloaf — I hate meatloaf!  Ick!  Just the name… meatloaf!  Ick!  Here’s my sort of odd reasoning, when I was about 3-4 years old, I went to this preschool in Dallas where they served meatloaf for lunch one day.  I hated it!  I’ve never eaten it since.  I know… I know…

Singing Competition Shows — I hate singing competition shows!  The only one I can really tolerate is the UK “X-Factor”, and I can’t even watch that for very long.  It bores me.  Reality competition shows, some I do like.  “Top Chef” is great, and “Project Runway” is actually one of my favorites.  Something about the singing just makes it boring.  Not my thing.

“Friends” — I hate the television show “Friends”!  I just don’t get it.  It reminds me of a Disney show.  Over-acting.  Plot points the make no sense.  Snooty characters, and c’mon… There’s no way you could work those jobs live in that apartment and wear those clothes in that city.  Stupid.

YA Dystopian Novels/Films — I hate young adult dystopian novels/films!  YA fiction can be good.  “Juno”, “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”, “The Spectacular Now” — those are good.  “Divergent” is particularly loathsome, but the ultimate sin was when “The Giver” was adapted into that monstrosity of a Hollywood shite pile.  We get it.  YA Dystopian is in now.  Stop writing about it and do something original.

 

Those are the ones I most often encounter and hear about.  Everyone looks at me like I’m nuts when I say that I hate singing competition shows, but what really gets everyone is that I don’t like The Beatles.  Every time I say it, people respond with: “You must not have good taste in music”.  I like to think that I do, but I like more rugged stuff.  I’m tired of the YA dystopian thing.  “Friends” is too over-the-top.  “Boyhood” was boring.  Jennifer Lawrence is a bitch.  And to put it delicately… I’d rather open a bed & breakfast in the belly of Mt. Vesuvius than eat a single slice (ick! just the word — slice!) of meatloaf ever again.

Conversation With My Abuser

Recently, I received an invitation on social media.  It was for a fundraiser being hosted by a venue near where I live.  The fundraiser was to support a boarding school.  I attended the school for a few months where I endured some extreme abuse (some of which is mentioned in the e-mails below).  This is a brief conversation with one of my abusers.  Names and some wording has been changed for the purpose of anonymity.

My First E-mail:

Jane,

I’m not sure if you remember me.  I was a student at XXX for about seven months in late yy and early yy.  I don’t think we’ve ever spoken in person, but I do recognize your name.  I noticed the invitation to (name of event) on facebook.  I live very close to (Town Name), and because of my close proximity to where the event will take place, I really feel like I need to speak out…

While at XXX, I was a victim of some pretty serious psychological and physical abuse.  The administrative staff mislead my parents into believing that XXX could help with my neurological condition, when in reality it only made everything much, much worse.  On many occasions, I made the request to see my neurologist at home, but was told I needed to see the (school name) doctor instead… which only made matters worse.  I was severely over-drugged (even before I got to XXX) and this caused me to have severe sleepiness (one of the things I was hoping XXX would help take care of).  I nodded off to sleep quite often and was very slow in the mornings.  Because of this I had about (school jargon for a certain punishment).  All of this resulted from my being over-drugged, yet I was constantly told that it was my fault when really it was the fault of my doctors… I “earned” my abuse.  Because of my sleeping problems, I had air horns blown in my face, scalding and/or ice water thrown on me, was forced to skip meals and spent eight hours a day sat at my desk doing nothing.  I even called (important person’s name) to address my neurological problems which were really starting to scare me.  I stated that “I have a neurological condition”. The man laughed at me and replied in an amused, dismissive tone “You don’t have a neurological problem.”  For the record… I do and because of which I have suffered greatly, and continue to struggle with.  Because of my falling asleep in class, I had to serve my detention in athletics.  I was given a ridiculous amount of physical exercise as punishment which caused complications with existing medical conditions and caused wear and tear on my body that I’m still recovering from.  I was simply not physically well enough and was incapable of doing the punishment, yet I had to anyway.

I went through hell at XXX, and I’m not the only one.  My parents have eaten themselves alive for sending me there only to be abused.  You have no idea the distress that XXX has caused myself and my family, and we will most likely never recover.  I am outraged at this (name of event) and felt like I needed to say something.  What will all the money go to?  Does it go to the kids?  The (name of founders)?  Fancy new buildings?  More (name of event)?

XXX is a terrible place for children, full of dark secrets and brutal methods.  The suicide of (name of girl who hanged herself in the dorm closet).  The situation with (name of a house parent who sexually assaulted a student).  I’ve also heard that house parents were suspecting that their phones were tapped and their internet was monitored.  It’s an awful place that deserves every bit of negativity thrown its way.  (There was a recent controversy that caused a court case due to some shady medical practices by the school nurse and doctor.)  It’s had a permanent psychological effect on myself and especially my parents that will never heal.  After all the crap my family has been put through because of XXX, I am sickened by this event.  I hope you really take some times to think about some of the things you’ve read in this e-mail… and I’ve only scratched the surface.  My time at XXX entailed further severe, severe abuse that I’d rather not share with you since I didn’t know you that well.  My time at XXX was one of the worst times of my life, and my family will never fully recover from it.  I hope you think about that.

Jane’s Reply:

Amanda,

First of all, I am sorry XXX was not a good fit for you.  As you stated, you know who I am, which means you know I’ve been around a long time.  20 years to be exact.  I have thought about your email and processed what you had to say.  XXX has been a wonderful experience for so many of the students who have been through our program.  I know this because I still talk to so many of them as do other staff.  So much so, that several of them are now sending their children to us to have the same experience they did.  I am truly saddened for you family and what seems to have been a difficult time in your life.  I am happy to remove you from any and all social media posts involving XXX.  Please do the same if you should receive something, just delete it.  I would not want to be the cause for any more difficulty for you and your family.  I wish you the best, I really do.  If you would like for me to forward your email to the Administrators of XXX, I will, if you feel it is something they should read.

My Reply to Jane:

Forward it.  I am very surprised to hear that XXX was a good experience for many students.  Most of the ones I know had a terrible time.  I’m sure some of the ones like (girl from school) and (guy from school) who grew up at XXX had a good time, but I went there during the time it was transitioning from a “Short Term 12” style group home to an international boarding school.  Many of the students were very privileged like (name of suicide girl), and were classified as “troubled teens” with “problems they made for themselves” <– A quote from (name of founder) by the way.  My father’s company actually supported XXX for a while, but then withdrew their support after I was so severely abused by your staff.  I am disgusted to see social events set up so that money can go to XXX, because it was such an awful place for me and most of my peers, as well as my parents who are still beating themselves up for sending me there.  I would never recommend someone go to XXX.  It is a terrible place full of dark secrets and cruel punishments.  I can’t believe that anyone would expose their children to such a terrible environment.  I really don’t know how you people can live with yourselves after all the trouble you’ve caused my family as well as so many others.  It is a terrible environment that destroyed me.  Many staff members were extremely cruel.  I’m sure some of the kids had a great time, and those are the ones you advertise, but I honestly know more who were permanently damaged from their time at XXX.  I honestly want to call BS on your statement that many kids loved it, because I know so many who were also abused, but memory can be selective.  There will never be consequences on your part for all the abuse I’ve endured, as proved by this (name of event) with your precious (extremely well known sponsor), yet I live with it everyday.  You have no idea what a terrible time I had at that place and I am disgusted by your mild and dismissive term of it “being a bad fit for me”.  Is a rapist’s penis a bad fit for a rape victim?  Thank you for downplaying the abuse I and my family endured; it was a really sweet thing to say…  Your reply actually made me feel worse since it heavily implies that I am part of a minority.  I am a victim of abuse and XXX is guilty.  Think about what I’ve said in these e-mails, and see if you still pride yourselves on all the wonderful things you’ve done for children.  XXX is a sick, sadistic place deserving of harsh publicity and severe consequences.  Take some responsibility for your terrible actions towards me.  XXX is a cloistered hell.  Someone needs to burn it to the ground.

 

I haven’t gotten a reply back from “Jane”.  My abuse story goes far beyond just these e-mails, and had I known “Jane” better, I certainly would’ve shared more.  I think I’ve cried more today than I ever have in my life… and I am not exaggerating.  I was proud of myself for addressing this dark time in my past, but now feel even worse.  Hopefully an administrator or someone from the school who I know better will shoot me an e-mail or something so that I can fully tell my story and finally let go… but I doubt it.

Response to Watchmojo’s “Top 10 Texas Embarrassments”

To all my dedicated 37 followers.  Yes, I know.  I’m so popular…

WordPress is not letting me display this media in my post, so you’re going to have to go to this link

watch-mojo-logo

Watchmojo is a Canadian Youtube channel that posts many “Top 10’s” related to pop culture, important facts on recent events, and just random facts on anything really.  They have over 10 million subscribers, and for the last three years — their videos have been rather entertaining.  Lately, however, they seem to be running out of steam.  Another video they’ve posted recently was “Top 10 Famous Sex-Addicts”.  C’mon, does anybody really want to talk about sex addiction?…

Trust me, the Texas video is worth watching, BUT — SPOILER ALERT.

I don’t agree with most of the politics in this video — creationism in schools, Muslim discrimination, thoughts on abortion, etc etc

BUT, Watchmojo — being the perceptive Canadians they are — have listed Waco and the JFK assassination as Texas embarrassments, JFK being #1.

First of all, yes, there are a bunch of backwoods idiots in our state, but that’s because of our size.  There’s a ton of open countryside out here where people work their own farms/ranches, have little (possibly no) access to mainstream media, and therefore do live like it’s still 1960.  Get into an actual city like Dallas, Houston or Austin and you’ll find actual human beings — not those creepy inbred Ozarks people from “Winter’s Bone”.  There are lots of things to make fun of about Texas — the fat people in Corpus, the creationist idiots, the SMU death penalty (not meaning human executions), and how much the Cowboys suck right now.  Calling a national tragedy a “Texas Embarrassment” is going too far.

One of the Watchomojo editors defended the channel by saying something to the degree of: “If I had a friend over and forgot to clean up my kid’s toys, and my friend stepped on it and twisted his ankle — I would be embarrassed.”  SO — by that logic — what else is embarrassing?  Is Columbine embarrassing to CO?  Are all those bridge jumpers in San Francisco embarrassing to CA?  Is that bombing in OKC that killed all those babies embarrassing to OK?  Or… OR is 9/11 embarrassing to NY?

They’re not even American, much less Texan.  Who are they to tell us what we should be embarrassed about?  Yes, there is some shame in Dallas re the assignation.  It was something tragic that happened in my hometown, and it’s sad to think about. BUT I’m 23 years old.  Why should I be embarrassed about something that I had no part in?  Even adults back then probably couldn’t have stopped it, but I (and most of the population of DFW if you include all of our universities around here, including the very large enrollments at SMU, TCU and UNT) am almost 2 generations removed from this whole mess.  Still, though, we don’t react too well to people mocking our history.  Does anyone remember the Erykah Badu music video?…  Well, I do.  It was a mess.

My dear 37, watch the video.  Tell me what you think of these lovely Canadian opinions.  Do they have a right to tell me what is embarrassing about my state?  Is the JFK assassination embarrassing to Dallas?  I’m sure I don’t sound all that educated when I speak about politics, but I’m a creative writer.  I spend most of my time in lala land.  I’m probably not even going to vote this year because I don’t know enough about complex politics.  BUT Canadians giving their pretentious opinions re Texas… bothers me.

Why “The Devil Wears Prada (2006 Film)” Sucks Anal Fibers

Disclaimer —

Okay, let’s just put it out there — Meryl Streep’s performance as “Miranda Priestly” was phenomenal.  Emily Blunt was great, too — as was Stanley Tucci.  Anne Hathaway — we all hate her, but she can act.  So?  What’s the deal with why this movie sucks so much?  I’m gonna tell you — and you’re gonna like it.

1) The Stupid Plot

“Andy Sacks” (Hathaway) is an earnest, wide eyed young graduate with hopes of being a journalist.  She becomes an assistant to “Miranda Priestly” (Streep), an impossibly demanding boss and the editor in chief of “Runway” — which we all know is pretty much just Vogue.  So?  What’s the plot here?  What are the events from A-Z?  Andy gets job.  Andy complains about job.  Andy decides job isn’t all that bad.  Andy’s boyfriend is rude about it.  Andy quits job.  A-Z:  Getting one of the best job opportunities ever.  Quitting one of the best job opportunities ever.  Why would anyone do that?  Here’s why —

2) The Poor Message

Message — what is this film saying?  Basically, it’s saying that you shouldn’t change no matter what.  This is ridiculous, especially when our protagonist is a young, hopeful journalist living in NYC.  I’m assuming (it’s never stated in the film) that Andy Saks was probably somewhere between 22-25.  As someone currently in this age range (I’m 23), I can tell you that it’s a very fragile, vulnerable part of a young woman’s life.  I can’t hide behind the quirky college girl thing anymore.  I’m a grown woman who needs to get my life on track — and this means growing (changing).

3) The Bad Structure

Let’s look at some of the plot points in the film.  She gets the job.  We call that the “inciting incident” or the “call to action”.  It’s what gets our story going.  Let’s look at plot point one (this is what propels the screenplay from act one to act two).  Andy decides to try to fit into said job and gets a makeover.  Now things get real.

Andy starts doing well at her job, and she starts acting different.  Her line cook boyfriend doesn’t like this.  He’s rude, condescending and needy.  Let’s talk about the neediness.  They live together in a shitty apartment — where outside The Devil Wears Prada-land two pretentious twentysomethings would probably get murdered (jussayin’).  Andy works late a lot.  Nate (the shabby line cook boyfriend) doesn’t like this.  Andy is literally at that apartment every friggin’ night, and he’s annoyed with her.  WTF?…

Now we get to the “midpoint”.  Not all films have a midpoint (and this one doesn’t really, but this event is close enough).  Miranda tells Andy that she must attend a party, because “Emily” (Emily Blunt’s character) is too sick to go alone and they must be there to make it seem like Miranda knows everyone.  Wow!  Great opportunity!  Snazzy party and a pretty dress.  BUT!  There’s a problem.  It’s Nate’s birthday.  Party goes off pretty much without a hitch, and Andy even steps in when Emily can’t perform a task and makes herself look good.  Awesome news, right?  Yeah, kind of.  Then.  She’s finally able to leave for line cook boyfriend’s party.  As she’s walking out, she encounters “Christian Thompson” (a cool sexy journalist played by that guy from “The Mentalist”).  He starts hitting on her, even says that she’s a talented writer.  She doesn’t like his advances (’cause, y’know, the boyfriend and everything).  She blows him off, and starts to leave.  Then he states that there are people inside from New York Magazine and that he could introduce her.  She looks thrilled, and says that that sounds great, but then oops!  She remembers.  It’s her line cook boyfriend’s birthday.  She denies the potentially life altering opportunity, (’cause, y’know, you shouldn’t change yourself) and goes home.  She arrives at her shitty apartment where line cook boytoy is watching TV.  She apologizes, but he’s too upset to respond.  As he’s making his way into bed, he says with a pouty scorned kitten look “You look really pretty”.

Now let’s get to a moment sort of before the start of act three.  Miranda tells Andy that she wants her in Paris, and not Emily.  Andy refuses this opportunity, stating that Emily’s whole life is about Paris and that it would kill her.  Miranda then says that if she doesn’t tell Emily that she’s not going to Paris, that it will imply that Andy isn’t serious about her job and might lead to her termination.  Andy decides to go to Paris.

Later, at an art gallery, Andy’s friend sees her with Christian Thompson where he is again hitting on her.  He kisses her cheek, Andy blushes and friend freaks out.  She states that the Andy she knows is madly in love with line cook boyfriend and thinks that fashion is lame.  She doesn’t get the new Andy and wishes her luck in Paris.  Enter line cook boyfriend.  He heard about Paris.  Andy takes a comment out of context and is annoyed that he’s “giving her a hard time, too”.  They speak outside the gallery.  Line cook boyfriend states that Andy has become one of the “runway girls”.  Andy says that this is absurd, but line cook boyfriend is okay with this as long as she owns it.  He even states that “I wouldn’t care if you were out there pole dancing as long as you did it with a little bit of integrity” — ’cause, y’know, she needs his approval to do things and all that.  Miranda calls in the middle of the conversation, interrupting them.  Line cook boyfriend ends the night by saying: “The person whose calls you always take — that’s the relationship you’re in.  I hope you two are very happy”.  DICK!

Andy goes to Paris, hooks up with Christian Thompson, and is appalled to see that Miranda may be replaced.  She tries to stop it, but it turns out that Miranda knew about the plan all along.  Later, a job that has been promised to “Nigel” (Tucci) goes to the woman who was supposed to take Miranda’s position at Runway.  Christian Thompson looks like an idiot and Nigel is crushed.

Later, in a limo, Miranda states that she sees a lot of herself in Andy.  Andy says that she couldn’t do what Miranda did to Nigel.  Miranda says that she already did — to Emily.  This upsets Andy, and she ends up quitting her job in a blaze of glory by throwing her t-mobile sidkick into a fountain.

She goes back NYC, makes up with line cook boyfriend who states that he’s moving to Boston and invites her to come with him.  Later, Andy goes to a job interview with some crappy newspaper.  Miranda has sent a fax stating that if the editor in chief of crappy newspaper doesn’t hire Andy, then he is an idiot.  Andy walks out of crappy newspaper building with a smile.  It’s implied that she got the job, but (I don’t know if this was intentional — I think it probably wasn’t) we don’t know if she took it or if she’s going to Boston with line cook boyfriend.  She then sees Miranda coming out of Elias Clark, the building which houses Runway.  Andy waves.  Miranda ignores her.  We follow Miranda into her limo where she smiles to herself.  The final line in the movie is Miranda irritably telling her driver to “go.”.

Time to Get Real

There is nothing wrong with changing, with wanting to be great and adapting to the environment of greatness.  I’m pretty sure that Margaret Fuller was a lot more awkward and innocent before she started working at The Dial.  (They portrayed Andy Saks as being innocent, yet she’s living with and fucking a line cook every night.  Yeah, real innocent.)  What did line cook boyfriend and Andy’s friends think was gonna happen when she got a real journalism job and started covering disturbing hard news?  That would change anybody.  There is nothing wrong with being career obsessed and sacrificing your personal life.  Andy loved line cook boyfriend more than writing.  You can’t love anything more than writing if you want to be a journalist in NYC.  If she really loved writing as much as she claimed to in the film, she would’ve moved out and lived on the fucking street to get away from that dicktard.  To quote Susan Orlean (a staff writer for the New Yorker who was ironically portrayed by Streep in “Adaptation” — that movie is awesome btw) — “The reason it matters to care about something passionately is because it whittles the world down to a more manageable size.”  Trust me.  This is very true.

I first saw this film when I was thirteen, and naturally, I thought it was glamorous and awesome.  Now as a grown adult, I see how fucking retarded it is.  How can anybody like this shit?  Why is it “certified fresh” on Rotten Tomatoes?  What is wrong with people?  I am literally sick to my stomach right now.  Fuck!  I gotta go watch “Thelma & Louise” to get my mind off this shit…